Dirty Socks and Empty Beer Bottles

My big brother…is a trip.

Seriously. He has this sense of humor that is just hysterical in a quiet sort of way. Sometimes he gets a snark in that you don’t even realize until the next day.

When we get together for Christmas, I never know what to expect.

Take Christmas a few years ago. My family and I (just the four of us) sat around the living room, opening gifts, laughing together, etc.  We’re down to last round of gifts to open…except for my brother’s gifts. My brother, you see, never puts his gifts under the tree until he’s ready for us to open them. Whether he just wants to be super secretive or just not excited about his wrap job is a mystery.

Anyways. It was down to my gift. My brother goes back into his room…comes out…walks over to me…throws me my gift…and I squeal and throw it back.

Why?

It was his dirty sock!!!

Not unlike the real dirty sock

He gets this offended look on his face, like “why would you throw away my gift for you?” He tells me to pick it up and look inside (he claims it’s a clean sock but with guys, can you ever really tell?). I gingerly pick it up, tip it upside down and…an empty beer bottle!

Huhh????

He then goes on to explain that he’s giving me a beer of the month club membership. Okay, NOW I’m okay with what’s going on. The Beer of the Month club is great for anyone who loves more than, say, Bud Light or Miller Lite (and don’t even get me started on Coors Light, ew, gross).  These are random or rare beers…microbrews.

Now for the quick sales pitch (see, I do your homework for you). They start from $20.95 per month up to $68.95 per month for the rare beer club (this does NOT include shipping & handling). If you choose the Original or Variety Beer Club, they’ll receive 4 beers per month and the Rare Beer Club will send 2-6 depending on which tier you choose. You decide how many months you want this gift to last.

I realize not everyone loves random beers the way I do. There’s also a...

Wine of the month club

Cheese of the month club

Chocolate of the month club

I mean, seriously, just google something you like and then put “of the month club” at the end of it and you’ll probably find something interesting. Can’t beat a gift that keeps giving all year round!

That’s one of the secrets of me finding random gifts. Google is my best friend. Embrace it.

PS, in case you're wondering, I did go ahead and give his dirty sock back. It's the thought that counts, big brother...